Swamp Monsters

Have I recently mentioned that my mini human is obsessed with the outdoors, more specifically finding any reason to be near the mud, around the mud, in the mud? Well in case you missed that part he loves being dirty, excuse me, filthy. He loves getting head to toe filthy. And I love that about him, I hate the aftermath but I love how many hours on end he can be outside entertaining himself.

Like I said though, the aftermath is awful. Even on sunny days, certain parts of our land (have I mentioned the ‘mud pits’) are so saturated with moisture they are perpetually soggy. So by the end of the day, what started out as a clean pretty little two year old boy, returns to my front door wanting to come in looking like a little swamp monster most of the time. Do you think a washing machine deserves that kind of abuse? Probably not. And honestly my washing machine and dryer is one of my top favorite Christmas presents so there is no way at all that I’m going to risk ruining them if I can help it.

So back to the swamp monster, somehow I need to pre-clean my men’s clothes when they’ve had a ‘productive’ day. Let me tell you, no matter how you lay the clothes on the ground outside to spray, it just doesn’t seem to cut it. Not to mention you’re basically making more mud underneath the clothes you are trying to semi-de-mud because you know…..water + dirt under clothes=more mud. So what to do what to do. Wellllllllll….you make the people, who destroyed their once clean clothes, keep them on and simply spray them off while still on their owners. I have no idea why this works better than laying them on flat ground and spraying them off but it does work better. Could it be it’s just fun to spray off mud monsters and hope that they figure out that getting muddy might not be worth it? Probably. Mostly. It’s really fun and evil and I absolutely condone this behavior. You’ll get to hear yelling and fighting and you think to yourself ‘they aren’t going to do that again look at how cold and miserable they are’.

Yeah, that’s not true. Because no matter how hard you spray someone with a hose, no matter how cold they are, no matter how much they hate it; they will still go out the following day and get covered in mud, head to toe.

Swamp monsters are the bane of my existence, but those disgusting, smelly, gross, vile swamp monsters are my whole world. I wish they smelled less and took less work to clean up, but I love them. All of them. From my person home grown mini-human to my partner in crime, even my oldest niece occasionally. I love you muddy little swamp monsters.