Never Ending Mud

This freaking mud never ends.

In the summer I endlessly battle The Hubs and my Swamp Monster bringing in the mud. During the summer they are constantly outside (which I love, I can not stand when energetic souls want to stay inside and play when it is nice outside) having fires, riding bikes, taking the quads down into the forest, working on various projects and the list goes on and on. Now, while it is super nice having them constantly outside, because when they come in for the night they are super mellow and quiet, they are usually quite filthy. Like ‘find dirt in your belly button and buttcrack’ dirty. Which I find super impressive, because it doesn’t rain too terribly much in the summer, so the amount of mud is half of what it is in the winter. The guys deserve some kind of medal….maybe just a certificate….

Even though, by the end of the day they are covered in dirt and mud, they at least strip down on the front porch to their under-roos…actually I just lied, Swamp Monster gets straight up naked. I really need to figure out how I can keep that boy’s clothes on his body. But even with the stripping of the clothes they still bring the outdoors inside with them! Does the mud just hide in the nooks and crannies of their bodies and jump ship as soon as they find their motherland that is my floors, beds, carpets, etc??? At least for the most part usually what they track in is relatively dry and easy to vacuum up or sweep up. And it’s really only the human’s that I have to worry about in the summer. My fur-babies take pleasure in sun bathing and staying relatively clean, so at least I’m only battling half a household in the summertime and half the mud.

But fall through winter is a different beast…..fall through winter I have to activate my Endless Mud Protocol…..

Since we live in a development on a hill, and we happen to live toward the lower part of said hill, a lot of our land is very moist (if you happen to be one of the people that hate that word, my bad, moist). And it is like my whole household is conspiring against me, because like I said, summer isn’t so terrible in terms of mud getting into my house, don’t misunderstand me it definitely gets in but not at the same volume as winter mud. Winter mud is an unruly monster, the grass and yard immediately surrounding the house starts slowly turning into squishy patches of the wettest, most aggressive mud I’ve ever met. Thankfully we don’t spend as much time outside in the winter/fall as we do in the summer, so the chance for mud to hitch a ride on a human is cut down. We still go outside but we don’t want to be wet AND cold, so usually us humans only need to de-shoe before entry to the home. Sometimes my precious Swamp Monster forgets that he just went puddle jumping with his boots and trekked through the one small patch of mud right by the porch steps, and he sometimes makes it inside booted up but he usually only gets a couple steps inside the door and onto the tile before we start incoherently yelling things at him because we can’t form coherent sentences in the time of an emergency, and he sits down and flops off his boots.

But we have fur-babies….fur-babies in the form of two Labs and one Chiweenie….and I can’t keep them inside all winter/fall since they need to do the doo outside….and it would be totally fine if they were as calm outside as they are inside (the most jacked they get inside is tight little circles to let us know they need to potty), if they just leisurely sauntered outside and did their business and calmly sniffed some things, that would be awesome. But apparently I have really ticked someone off, and apparently my dogs going crazy outside when it is less than stellar weather is my life long punishment.

When my small herd of fur-babies have to go outside to go potty they get jacked, I’m talking about springting in little tight circles jacked, so naturally as soon as the front door is cracked enough where they can get out they have to tear out of the house like they are chasing down Usain Bolt. All the while making sure to go through the muddiest parts of the yard. Then, if that wasn’t enough, they feel the need to play fight, and their version is sprinting at each other and jumping around which further imbeds the mud up into those pup paws, and to top it off the newest baby, Hank, is a digger….so there’s that.

With all their muddy-ness I have been trying to get them up on the covered dry porch so that their pup paws can somewhat dry out and bring in less mess, but this is just a pipe dream. Along with the porch system, I sometimes then let them in and corral them to the laundry room and leave them in there to further dry out a little, followed by a wash cloth to the paws. And their paws turn out looking clean, they walk on the tile and nothing. Then, as soon as they are on the carpet one of them will have to shake out their fur, then all of the sudden there are perfect little muddy paw prints. How? HOW????

So, I guess me and my carpet cleaner have a hot date once our grounds start drying out a a little….how enticing….I’ll make sure to wear my stylish leggings for my hot date.

Freaking mud.

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